The Victims
by GeekMom
Summary: Castle is recounting his losses. I am grateful to Andrew Marlowe for bringing Castle to life, sadly I never got the call to help, so I don't own Castle. Just having some fun.
1. The Victims

**The Victims**

It had been a slow day. A slow week, too. Jeff kept himself busy with, well, busy work. He just finished dusting the displays at the front of the store for the third time that week. He had gone to the back to retrieve additional charging cords; they were available in colors now. 'Oo, how exciting.' he thought. His enthusiasm and excitement had overflowed that morning. Yeah, right. He knelt down in front of the spinning display stand, sighed, and was concentrating on how to organize the multitude of colored cords when he heard a quiet cough. Someone was clearing his throat so the technician would be aware of his presence.

He stood and turned toward the sound. A broad smile blossomed on his face. "Mr. Castle," he said while extending his hand, "it's so good to see you again, and so soon."

Castle pursed his lips. "Jeff, how have you been?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Since, last week?"

Castle sighed. "Funny."

Jeff's light brown eyes sparkled as he asked the question that he knew he already had the answer. "What brings you in today?"

Castle pulled his lips tight over his teeth. He knew that the young salesman was having a good time at his expense and if he were honest, he would normally acknowledge the humor of the situation. "I, uh, need a, uh, new phone," he said quietly. He pulled the latest casualty out of his pocket.

Jeff shook his head. The phone was smashed, almost folded in half. The incarnation that this one replaced had a hole in it. Jeff would have sworn that it was a bullet hole, but that was ridiculous. Richard Castle was a writer. What was it that he did that destroyed so many cell phones? This would be his sixteenth. "So," he said as he waited for an explanation. Castle averted his eyes. Jeff went to work trying to figure out how to retrieve the data so it could be transferred. "Mr. Castle?"

Castle turned his attention toward the young man.

"What do you have against cell phones?"

"I don't have anything against them."

"Why do you destroy them?"

"It's not my fault," he shrugged, "they just sort of get in the way."

"Sir, you're a writer," Castle acknowledged the fact and waited for him to continue. "Well, it's hardly a dangerous profession. How does this," he held up the twisted phone, "keep happening?"

Castle swallowed and looked vaguely uncomfortable. "I'm, um, I'm just hard on my phones, I guess." His arrangement with the police was not a secret, exactly. They did have a spread in Cosmo and other magazine and newspaper articles since then. The article said that he was working with the police. He had even said so on National television.

"Hard? Hard on your phones? You totally obliterate them. That's not hard. You're almost a cell phone serial killer." Jeff smiled at his cleverness.

Castle's eyes lit up. "Really? A serial killer?" An amused grin graced his face. "That's funny." He thought about it. Jeff was right; he was a cell phone serial killer. "Look, you just go get me the latest replacement and I'll tell you the story when you get back."

Jeff nodded and made his way to the back room. The standard order was for the latest IPhone incarnation, black, and largest gig available storage. If nothing else, Mr. Castle's inability to keep a working phone kept their sales numbers up. He was their best customer.

Jeff came back out to the counter and set to work, retrieving data from the destroyed hunk of technology.

"You still want to know?" Castle asked.

"Are you kidding?"

"Okay. Just the times I needed to replace it for damages, right?" He grinned and Jeff acknowledged him with a preoccupied head nod. "The first time I needed a new phone it was because I had burst into a burning apartment. A bomb just detonated and my partner was inside. I crushed the phone as I broke down the door." Castle watched the younger man intently who had stopped working to stare at him.

"No way."

"Way. The second time I was playing with liquid nitrogen and froze it. I froze my watch, too." He smirked as he remembered the science experiments. He froze and shattered everything he could get his hands on. Jeff's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline.

"The third time, I lost it," Jeff wasn't impressed. He had heard that numerous times before. "While digging up a grave." He explained further at the look of disbelief on Jeff's face. "It wasn't a real grave; there was buried treasure from a jewelry heist."

"The fourth time, I was trying out a steam-punk outfit and it got crushed in the gears and hydraulics." Jeff was openly laughing now. "Hey, don't laugh; I could have been trapped forever in that get up."

Castle got quiet, but continued, "The fifth time, it was stolen by a serial killer." He didn't pause, wanting to move past memories of Tyson as quickly as possible. "The sixth time, it was killed by an electromagnetic pulse just before we were kidnapped by unnamed government agency men who wore black while we were investigating the possibility of UFOs." Jeff stole a glance at the writer and decided he was telling the truth.

"The seventh time, it was exposed to radiation and subzero temperatures. I can't say any more about that. It's classified." Jeff was incredulous, Castle was matter-of-fact.

"The eighth time, it was," he looked down and hesitated, "it was covered in blood. It fell out of my pocket when my partner was shot."

"The ninth time, it was crushed under the heel of a mercenary bank robber when I was held hostage."

He squinted his eyes, trying to remember the next. "Oh, the tenth time, it was crushed by a rogue CIA agent, who actually turned out to be the good guy trying to prevent a cataclysmic event. The eleventh and within a day that I had number ten replaced, our car was pushed into the Hudson." He nodded. "Water damage." Jeff had stopped working and was just sitting listening to this impossible list.

"The twelfth time, my phone was taken by Irish mobsters who threw it down a storm drain, along with my wallet."

"The thirteenth time, it was shot by a CIA operative." He scowled, "but he replaced it, so I guess that one doesn't count."

"Okay so that makes the thirteenth time, um, I lost it snowboarding in Colorado. I probably should have left it at the lodge, but it would have been handy when I crashed...if I hadn't lost it."

"The fourteenth time, it flew out the window when I was in a car accident." At Jeff's concerned expression, he added, "I was okay, but the driver died of an airborne toxin."

"The fifteenth time, it was only scratched. A guy jumped me with a sword." He grinned, again, "I won, but then that other thing happened which resulted in the hole." Jeff could see that the writer was not going to elaborate any further.

"The sixteenth time, well, this is it." He held up the mangled wreckage of his phone. "You don't want to know this one." He smiled; he was a mystery writer after all. Sometimes, things should remain a mystery.


	2. The Way of the IPhone

**A/N -** **Hi Guys! So after last night's episode, I had to add this little meeting. Enjoy!**

**~GeekMom**

* * *

**The Victims**

**The Way of the IPhone**

Jeff walked to the stockroom door. He had been re-organizing the stock in the back room. He stopped as he surveyed the showroom and a broad smile spread across his face. He turned and plucked a black, thirty-two gig, IPhone five from the shelf. He walked out to the sales floor. Walked, sauntered, danced, whatever it was, his favorite customer had come in.

"Mr. Castle."

He had his hands buried deep in his pockets of his overcoat. "Jeff."

"This is some sort of record."

"What do you mean?" Castle asked, innocently, knowing full well what Jeff meant.

"Two days, you were here two days ago." Jeff beamed from ear to ear. Not only were his sales increasing today, but also he was betting that there was a damn good story coming.

"How do you know that's why I am here?" He pressed the lever on his hydraulic stool and slowly lowered.

Jeff plopped the new phone down on the table and pulled out the cord so he could begin the sync. He held out his hand. Castle just looked at Jeff's hand trying, in vain, to feign any knowledge of what was expected to be placed there. He directed his gaze to the ceiling, the floor and the cornucopia of accessories, before focusing on Jeff again.

Castle pursed his lips and said, "Fine." He placed his mostly unused phone in Jeff's palm. Jeff picked it up and examined it. Nothing wrong with the face. It wasn't folded, shot, soaking wet, crushed, twisted, but wait, what was this?

He held the phone to the light and narrowed his eyes. It was, no. "Is this?"

Castle nodded. A mixture of embarrassment and joy spilling from his eyes.

"Really?" Jeff was incredulous. "Stabbed? How did your phone get stabbed?"

Castle readjusted the height on his stool, leaned forward, and rubbed his hands together. "Pierced, actually." Delight lit up his whole face as he asked, "Jeff? Have you ever heard of the Yakuza?"


	3. Home Screen

_**A/N - Hey!**_

_**I know I had marked this complete, but this took a hold of me several months ago. It's not humor, but poignant. I hope you like it. Let me know. I may add more of RC's visits with Jeff and his iPhone misadventures as long as he keeps destroying them. Let me know if you'd be interested.**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**~GeekMom**_

* * *

**Home Screen**

Kate walked across the dark hardwood to answer the knock at the door. She was alone in the loft. Alexis and Martha were spending July in the Hamptons. A part of their attempt to get used to places without him.

When she was home, Alexis spent a great deal of time in his office. Kate couldn't, or actually wouldn't. She didn't want to get used to him being gone. She hadn't moved any of his soap, shaving cream or the impressive number of hair care products out of their bathroom. She opened his aftershave periodically just to feel closer: to feel as if she were nuzzling his neck. It was a connection. She hadn't put away the Connelly book he'd started; it still sat on his night stand on his side of the bed. She decided to try to read it, so she could hold the ending over his head, but he had written so many comments in the margins, it distracted and then it her made her laugh; he and Michael were ruthless in their good natured ribbing and editing, and then it made her sad.

He was coming back and she wanted to have everything the same for him.

That's why there was a knock at the door. Lanie. She looked through the peephole, took a deep breath before she opened the door. Lanie was better at hiding it than most people, but it was still there: the pity. Some days the well-meaning people's pity smothered her. Not today. She was fixing something for his return.

She swung open the door and smiled at her best friend.

Lanie tilted her head and automatically assessed her friend. "Hey girl. How are you doing today?"

Kate smiled a closed mouth smile. "I'm okay." She stepped aside to let Lanie in the door. "I just need to get my keys and a bag." She walked back through the office toward the bedroom.

Lanie looked around while she waited. Everything was the same as the last time she'd been to the loft. That was right after the accident. She crossed to the leather sofa and sat down. She loved that sofa. It was so soft it was like being enveloped by a hundred puppies. She would sit on it whenever she could; if she was visiting for a party or just a glass of wine with Kate, she'd made the black sofa her home. She grabbed the pillow and hugged it. Lanie caught her breath. She squeezed the pillow again. It smelled like him. She closed her eyes and embraced the supple leather clad pillow. Suddenly a lump was in her throat and a tear moistened the corner of her eye. Lanie knew she had to pull herself together if she was going to be there for Kate today.

She opened her eyes to see Kate. A half a smile was on her face as she observed her friend.

Lanie stood up like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Um…I…"

Kate joined her at the sofa, picked up another pillow, and pressed it to her chest. She buried her face in its material, breathing in the scent as she did so. She closed her eyes and laid her head on the pillow still clutched to her chest. "I can almost imagine him here," she whispered. She opened her eyes and smiled warmly at her friend. "You'd think he actually bathed and dressed on this sofa." An image of a half-naked Richard Castle, standing atop the couch cushions, playing Guitar Hero rushed into her imagination. He smiled that half smirk, half smile he wore when he knew his dreams were coming true. Kate shook her head. "The funny thing is that he doesn't spend much time out here by himself. If he's gaming or working he's in the office. Half the time we watch movies in there rather than out here. I think he prefers the intimacy of the smaller room." She dropped the pillow to the bench. "Anyway, you ready?"

Lanie noted her friend's word and tense choices and nodded. "Kate, are you sure?"

They were all worried about her, all worried that she was stuck in a state of denial. Javi kept her up to date on the investigation. The FBI had marked it as an inactive case. The NYPD, which had never had jurisdiction, closed their case after a month. The Hamptons police department had no leads and had labeled it cold. The only person still searching stood before her. Lanie, Javi and Ryan had shared many nights at The Old Haunt drowning their guilt and frustration. The evidence said that he'd left. Javi and Ryan were devastated but accepted it as fact that their friend staged the whole abduction. Lanie had her suspicions, but she kept them to herself, for Kate's sake.

"Absolutely," she said. "He'll want it as soon as he gets back." She picked up the small shopping bag and headed to the door. Lanie inhaled deeply and followed.

Kate opened the glass door and ushered Lanie out of a ninety degree New York summer into the overly air conditioned electronics store. She could see why he liked this particular store: it was smaller and according to the eight by ten framed pictures it had transformed itself several times before settling; he liked the history. On more than one occasion he had remarked that that was one of the reasons he loved the city, it constantly transformed itself. At least for now, this hole in the wall had remade itself as an electronics and gadget store.

Kate browsed over the shelves. Along with the radios and mp3s, there were toys and surveillance equipment. Spy stuff. She glanced at Lanie who was looking as lost as Gina would at a comic book convention. Kate grinned and moved toward the back of the store. He had never brought her there, but he talked. He praised the staff, selection and then showed her his newest toys and treasures. She found the section she needed. Kate exhaled in amazement; he was right: the assortment of products was incredible. _'It was a wonder he ever came home,'_ she thought. Kate bit her lip, thoughts like that took her by surprise. She steadied herself by walking to the counter where a clerk who was busy on his phone, protected himself behind the Formica and glass. Lanie followed but looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"May I help you?"

Kate turned back around toward the young man who had looked up from his phone and plastered an 'I'm gonna sell you something' smile on his face. She checked his nametag. "Thank you, Kyle. I need to speak to Jeff."

Kyle grimaced. "He's in the back…hang on a minute." The clerk rose like he'd never moved before. Kate suspected he had been in the same position for hours. She'd seen Castle stiff and stretch from his chair after a particularly successful Ninja Ropes games. He held the record.

Kate wiped the corner of her eye.

Lanie, who didn't miss much, leaned over and whispered, "Honey, are you sure?"

"Yes," Kate said sharply. She ducked her head and lowered her voice. "Sorry, yes: it needs to be waiting for him."

"Can I help you?" A pleasant twenty-something man wearing a nametag that read 'Jeff' and like Kyle was sporting the sales uniform of a blue polo and khaki pants. He approached them from the back room door.

Kate extended her hand. "Jeff, my name is Kate, Kate Bec…"

"Beckett. Yeah, I know. Man the pictures Mr. Castle has on his phone don't do you justice. I'm sorry," he said looking at the floor. "Really sorry, I'm Jeff." He shook her hand. "Mr. Castle gets so excited when he talks about you, oh and Alexis and the work at the precinct. I haven't seen him lately…" Jeff abruptly stopped talking.

Kate had seen it before. Someone started talking and then suddenly remembered an article or news report. The incident had made the national news when it first happened, but like law enforcement, the media, fans and general public had lost interest.

"It's okay Jeff, that's actually why I'm in here." She produced his mangled phone. It was no longer evidence as far as the feebs and the NYPD were concerned. "I need you to transfer anything on his old phone to a new one. When he comes back, I want him to have his phone available."

Jeff gaped at her, slid his look to Lanie and then back to Kate. He exhaled and stood up a bit taller. He grinned and turned back to the stock room. "I'll be right back."

He returned a few moments later with a cord and a new iPhone box. "Um, Mr. Castle's standing order is the newest black and sixty-four gig. That hasn't changed has it?"

Kate shook her head and smiled. She caught Lanie's eye. Only Castle would have a usual order at a phone store. She smiled and then she laughed.

Lanie stared at her, unsure she had heard right. "You okay?"

"I'm good. He's ridiculous." Kate squeezed Lanie's hand. "He's coming back, Lanie. I promise you."

Jeff had been transferring and trying not to eavesdrop or intrude. Richard Castle was his favorite customer. He hoped his fiancée was right, that he would be back. He decided to add his own well wishes as he finished the data transfer.

"I'll put this on his account?" he asked as he handed her the new phone.

"Oh, I was going to…"

"It's okay. He can take care of it when he gets back." Jeff smiled at the gorgeous woman who held out such hope and had a mountain of faith. He'd read the articles from the haters.

Kate graced him with a genuine smile of gratitude. "Well, thank you Jeff. It was so nice meeting you."

"Likewise Detective, I'll look forward to seeing you both, soon. Tell Mr. Castle that I'll be expecting stories of his exploits."

Kate smiled again and waved as she held the door for Lanie. They walked into the oppressive heat and Lanie steered her into a café for some iced tea.

After they ordered, Kate pulled out the box with his new phone. She opened the box and ran her thumb across the cool glass. Her breath caught and she bit her lip.

"What is it sweetie?" Lanie leaned forward.

"I can see why Castle likes Jeff so much." She held the phone out to Lanie. The salesman had put a picture of Kate and Rick making faces at each other while in an embrace. Kate had never seen the photo before then. It was taken two days before the accident.

She raised her eyes to meet Lanie's. "See? Step by step, he's coming home." She smiled brightly and turned off the phone.

* * *

"I got you something."

"For me? A present?" The corners of his eyes crinkled in anticipation. Even though the sunburn and his ordeals had temporarily weathered his face, he still held all the excitement of a nine year old on Christmas or his birthday. Kate went into the closet and pulled out the bag. She sat on the bed next to him and presented the bag. His lips quirked a small smile. He had only been back for two days and she was grasping at any straw of normalcy. Maybe this was one. He reached in the bag and pulled out the phone.

"I didn't want you to wait for it when you got home," she explained.

He opened the box. "Is this a new upgrade?" He exhaled. "Cool," he said as he swiped the front. He reached for her when he saw the lock screen. "Thanks, Kate.' He kissed her. Their kisses were still tentative, but she'd replaced his phone, never doubting that he would need it. "I love you."

Kate smiled, "I love you, too." She moved off of the bed and walked into the bathroom.

"Hey Kate?"

"Yeah," she answered hesitantly. It was just a phone. She didn't want him to be emotional about it, they had had enough.

He appeared at the bathroom door, head down looking through the pages on his new phone. "Does this have Angry Birds?"

She smiled through her toothpaste: he was home.


	4. Of Ropes and Ribbons and Moons

_A/N - Hello Readers,_

_Another silly little trip into Castle's cell phone abuse._

_Thanks for reading and let me know if you'd like me to continue these._

_Enjoy!_

_~GeekMom_

* * *

**The Victims**

**Chapter 4**

**Of Rope and Ribbons and Moons**

"Detective Beckett!" Jeff looked up at the sound of electronic bells. The alert had always irritated him, its mechanized attempt at harmony slightly out of tune. Every time someone broke the electronic eye's beam, the sound grated on his nerves. He'd almost attacked a kid playing with it the past week; instead he'd imagined the beam as a lightsaber doing what lightsabers do. It was therapeutic.

"Hi Jeff," the gorgeous detective greeted him as if he were an old family friend. She looked lighter, like a weight had been lifted. Of course he'd seen the reports that her fiancé had been found, she must have felt better.

"What brings you in today?" he asked. "Is Mister Castle with you?" He eagerly looked out the front window.

"Well, believe it or not, we need to replace a phone." Her eyes twinkled at the shared joke and placed a smashed black IPhone on the counter.

Jeff picked it up. The glass was broken and the frame crumpled. "How did this happen?" he asked, hoping that she would be able to tell the story as well as her fiancé.

"Oh hang on," she said and walked to the door. The chime ding-donged as she stuck her head out and spoke to someone on the sidewalk. She turned and set off the chime once more. Walking back to the counter, she said, "He's using my phone and will be right in."

Before he could process what she had said, the frustrating electronic ding sounded once more. Jeff looked up and Richard Castle stood there with a tentative smile on his face. All at once, his expression conveyed happiness, apprehension and relief. Jeff smiled widely. "Oh, Mr. Castle! Welcome back, it's so great to see you."

"Hey Jeff, thanks, it's good to be back," he answered, which was more subdued than Jeff ever remembered the man speaking. He had lost some weight, but not just the middle-age paunch, his frame seemed smaller and even though he smiled and the smile reached his eyes, there was a depth inside, like a sadness. Jeff was sure he was reading too much into what he saw of the writer.

The detective grabbed Castle's hand and pulled him further into the store.

"Standard order, Mr. Castle? I assume this is your phone," Jeff added teasingly while pinching the mangled device by its top left corner between his index finger and thumb as if contact would impart a disease.

"Yeah, Jeff. That will be fine." Castle said; one hand still clasped in the detective's, one hand distractedly sifting through a bin of discounted accessories. "Oh, I'll need to transfer data. I wasn't able to download or back-up anything in a while."

"No problem," the salesman said over his shoulder as he strode to the backroom. The store's phone rang. "Mr. Castle?" Jeff called from the backroom door. "I'm the only one here, do you mind if I get that?"

"Go ahead, Jeff. I've got a lot to keep me busy out here." Jeff nodded and disappeared into the stock room. He turned to his wife. "God, you'd think I was gone for years, not months. Did you see this?" He held up a small, rectangular, shiny black box. "Geeks' Gizmos, Gadgets and Thingamajigs Magazine said it wouldn't catch on." He tossed the small gizmos, gadget or thingamajig back into the bin. He shook his head. "Hacks: I need to cancel my subscription." Kate blindly agreed, as a show of marital support, not because whatever he was speaking about made any sense to her.

She had let him indulge himself and wander around the store, catching up on all the technological advances he missed. "Castle," Kate whispered a few moments later.

Rick reluctantly dragged his attention back to his wife. Only to become distracted by the next piece of shiny. He was like a kid given the keys to a candy store, sweets everywhere he looked only this was a selection of electronic candy gadgetry. "Mhm?"

"Rick!" The urgency in her tone finally made it through the euphoria of his long denied gadget feast. He already had several items in his basket. He also caught sight of her pincer-like fingers approaching his ear.

"No-oh, ow, ow," he said preemptively, ducking out of her reach.

"What? I didn't touch you."

"No, but you were going to," he said.

"The pictures," she tilted her head toward the backroom.

He followed the direction of her shrug and scowled. "The pictures," he repeated with a blank look on his face.

"Yes," she exclaimed in a strangled whisper. Her eyes were wide with fear.

Castle sighed and shook his head. "I know that you love me because of my extraordinary abilities…" She pursed her lips. He patently ignored her countenance and continued, "specifically my detecting capabilities, but I need more to go on, Beckett."

Kate pulled him to the corner of the store as far away from the backroom as possible and started pacing. Castle watched as she gathered her thoughts, her teeth bothering her lower lip.

"Kate?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"Keep your voice down," she admonished.

He furrowed his brow and used the expression as a cover for the humor he was feeling. Castle had learned long ago that Beckett didn't always share his opinion of what he found funny. "Okay," he whispered, "how's this?" She nodded solemnly. He almost lost it then, but he dug down for stoicism and seriousness. "Now, what's wrong?"

"We didn't take the honeymoon pictures off your phone."

The blood drained from Castle's face and he looked toward the back room. "Shit." He looked at the counter. Jeff had left the mangled phone on the counter. "I could tell him not to move anything."

"Isn't there other data?"

"Damn it! I have a half of a Nikki chapter and all the other photos, not just the naughty ones: the campfire before Ryan and Espo took off, that full moon," In response to the look on her face, he said, "No not mine, the one in the sky. Oh, the Yavapai reservation, Tobias: the naked bathroom cowboy," He gulped. "God, Kate, that white corset," he huffed and closed his eyes picturing Kate in the white corset and lace dress. "So many ribbons and laces on that thing and what you did with that rope after you lassoed me and then when you lassoed me again, but you know," he paused and he looked down and back up to her several times, he whispered, "little me." His eyes traveled down to his crotch in a final attempt to convey the problem.

Kate was instantly mortified. "Oh god, god, that's my point, Castle. We can't let Jeff see our honeymoon pictures or what we did with that rope or ribbons. We're going to have to sacrifice the rest."

Jeff called from the back room, startling Castle who dropped the hovercraft model he was holding. "I'll be right out, sorry to make you wait."

"Now, Castle we have to get it now!" Beckett frantically shoved Castle toward the counter.

He sidled up and stretched as far as he could reach, but the phone was just beyond his fingertips. "Damn," he whispered. He stopped and looked at his smashed phone and spun around suddenly.

"Beckett, we don't have to worry."

"He's going to see…"

"No, no he won't. The pictures are on your phone. Remember? Grady had smashed mine before the end of the case." He grabbed her elbows and pulled her close. "No need to worry or lose the other shots. The ropes, ribbons, corset, and my manly moon are actually on your phone." The smile of relief on his face melted into a look of concern. "We need to move those as soon as we get home."

"Agreed," Kate said. She pulled him closer and kissed his lips softly. "I like technology, Mr. Castle."

"Me too, Mrs. Castle," he smiled.

"Did I hear that correctly?" Jeff was back behind the counter, busily hooking up Castle's phone to the laptop. "Did you get married?"

The newlyweds both held up their ring fingers and smiled. Kate's phone rang and she walked back across the store to answer it.

Castle replied to Jeff's question in her absence. "Yeah, completely hitched and the funny thing is that we thought we left some honeymoon photos…um…you know," He paused and looked around the shop to locate his wife. Lowering his voice and speaking man to man, he held his hand up to the side of his mouth and reemphasized the word, _"Photos."_

Jeff stared at him blankly until he understood. It was as if someone switched on a lamp. "Oh! Yeah, I understand. Yeah, my girlfriend and I…" He stopped suddenly and cleared his throat. "So, is married life good?" Kate was walking back toward the men.

Castle caught on. "Yeah, couldn't be happier, right Sweetheart?"

Kate rolled her eyes and smirked. "You bet, Kitten." She then smiled when Castle frowned. He would eventually learn when it was appropriate to use pet names and when it wasn't. "That was the precinct, I need to go."

"Everything okay?" Castle asked.

She sighed heavily. "Yeah, Gates has us completing video workshops on every clichéd hot-button phrase she can think of."

"Bet I can think of more. Oo: office place paradigms in relation to desk space and organization, non-gender specific rest rooms, respect of other's property and lunches, how to prevent death by video lecture, proper use of non-Oxford word adjectives at a crime scene…"

Kate smiled and rolled her eyes, not sure if she was to be annoyed or amused. "Yeah, it's something like that. Do you want to come?

"Seriously?" He waggled his eyebrows. "My dear wife, as much as I love working at the twelfth and with you, I am so glad I don't _in reality_ work with you. That's worse than paperwork."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you know me. How late do you think you'll be there? I could bring you dinner or make it at home."

"At home should be fine. I'll let you know." Kate leaned over to kiss him, aware of Jeff conscientiously trying not to watch their P.D.A. "See you later. Bye Jeff," she waved as she stepped out of the door to the irritatingly discordant chime.

Castle sighed contentedly.

"I have to say, Mr. Castle, I'm really glad everything worked out for you and Detective Beckett.

"Thanks, Jeff," he looked outside longingly where his wife had recently vacated and sighed again. "Me too," he finished.

Jeff smiled. "Almost complete…and whoa," Jeff said. He licked his lips, shifted his eyes to Castle's and then swallowed nervously. "Oh man. Um…"

Castle became alarmed and asked, "What is it?" leaning over the counter to see the screen.

"Dude, you said that those photos weren't on here." Jeff had stopped working and held his eyes tightly clamped closed while pointing blindly at the screen.

"They can't be: my phone was destroyed…" Panicked, he thought. "Oh…oh no. They were from…" he closed his eyes and mumbled, "I am _so_ ready." He opened his eyes.

Jeff stared at him, waiting for instructions. He had put a notebook over the computer screen to block his view: even though the detective was incredibly hot, he truly liked and admired her and didn't want to embarrass her or him in any way.

Castle ran a hand over his face. "Crap. Kate's going to kill me."

"What if _you_ finished the transfer?" Jeff offered. "I can talk you through it. You'll have no problem, you're a tech geek."

"Yeah…yeah, Jeff. Thanks," Castle said excitedly. They exchanged places and Jeff guided Castle through the rest of the transfer. They finished the transaction and Castle held out his hand. "Jeff, you're a life saver. Thanks."

Jeff shook Castle's hand and replied, "No problem, Mr. Castle, anything for my best customer."

Castle smiled and walked to the door. "Oh and Jeff…"

"It never happened," Jeff completed, nodding as he waved.


End file.
